Pastrami sandwich, I want to tell you I love you, I have always loved you, and before I even knew you I was destined to love you; when I die I only want to lie next to you. Forever.
I felt the height of our love at Katz’s. I have never been so blown away by a sandwich like you before. You gave me so many new flavors and feelings I never knew could come out of warm slices of meat like you. I’ve grown so much with you in the time we’ve been together. I feel like I would be a completely different person if I never met you. Every time I pass by Katz’s, I only think of you.
Something has been coming over me over the past year. I became a bit curious to what else is out there. Please do not think that you were insufficient in anything you have done for me. I utterly love you. Here is my confession: I wanted to try another sandwich and I did.
Beef tongue is a good friend of yours, I know. The man at the counter questioned me if I knew what I was doing, “It’s cold, you know.” I took a taste and even though it didn’t feel quite right, I went through with it. I thought about you the whole time I was ordering. I must have thought your name a thousand times from the time I entered to when I sat down with my surrogate family. I stopped thinking when I took my first bite. I thought it would be an unfair comparison and would show disrespect to both of you. I will not go into details, but when I finished, I looked at my plate and thought about the mistake I made.
If you never want to see me or beef tongue again I understand. Please know that I love you. You are everything and I will never be interested in another sandwich. Katz Deli Pastrami, forget that soldier you were sent to. No man will ever love you half as much as I do. I only want you.
Maybe we can mix it up with your friend matzoh ball next time? or that vixen french fries?? Only if you are there though. Look, honestly I would be happy just to watch. What do you think? I’m not that interested in hot dog but if that’s what you want, that’s fine. I love you Pastrami Sandwich.