Posted by: Orlick | December 6, 2008

Katz’s Delicatessen – New York, NY

Katz’s Delicatessen
Category: Delis
Neighborhood: Manhattan/Lower East Side
205 E Houston St
(between Avenue A & Essex St)
New York, NY 10
photo courtesy beaucolburn

Pastrami sandwich, I want to tell you I love you, I have always loved you, and before I even knew you I was destined to love you; when I die I only want to lie next to you. Forever.

I felt the height of our love at Katz’s. I have never been so blown away by a sandwich like you before. You gave me so many new flavors and feelings I never knew could come out of warm slices of meat like you. I’ve grown so much with you in the time we’ve been together. I feel like I would be a completely different person if I never met you. Every time I pass by Katz’s, I only think of you.

Something has been coming over me over the past year. I became a bit curious to what else is out there. Please do not think that you were insufficient in anything you have done for me. I utterly love you. Here is my confession: I wanted to try another sandwich and I did.

Beef tongue is a good friend of yours, I know. The man at the counter questioned me if I knew what I was doing, “It’s cold, you know.” I took a taste and even though it didn’t feel quite right, I went through with it. I thought about you the whole time I was ordering. I must have thought your name a thousand times from the time I entered to when I sat down with my surrogate family. I stopped thinking when I took my first bite. I thought it would be an unfair comparison and would show disrespect to both of you. I will not go into details, but when I finished, I looked at my plate and thought about the mistake I made.

If you never want to see me or beef tongue again I understand. Please know that I love you. You are everything and I will never be interested in another sandwich. Katz Deli Pastrami, forget that soldier you were sent to. No man will ever love you half as much as I do. I only want you.
.
.
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Maybe we can mix it up with your friend matzoh ball next time? or that vixen french fries?? Only if you are there though. Look, honestly I would be happy just to watch. What do you think? I’m not that interested in hot dog but if that’s what you want, that’s fine. I love you Pastrami Sandwich.

Links:
Beyond Pastrami discussion at Chowhound
On Lines at Katz’s from Chowhound

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Responses

  1. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! this is by far one of the greatest posts ever from you!

    Katz’s should post it.


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