I ended the Vegetarian Week on Sunday. I was supposed to end it at dim sum, but I was early to meet my chinese family and I broke it at Fried Dumpling instead. It was good to break it, but I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to it.
I have continued my meat fasting since. Yesterday I went veg, but today I had a chicken salad quickie sandwich. I didnt prefer it, but it was available and fresh. I am really in a state of confusion. I feel like I am on the verge of coming out.
Being vegetarian wasnt that hard. I ate well, and really only suffered when there was a language barrier.
Yesterday I just decided to continue on with the V. I went back to abes pitaria and had falafel and a spinach roll. It was really good. I changed my yelp rating to 5 stars. Last night I went to one of the spanish delis that I frequent in Farmingdale. I had rice and beans with plaintains and yuca. It was pretty good as well. I almost had a meltdown in there though. The meat looked so wet and full of goodness. I have no idea what it was, puerca maybe. I held myself back though. I told myself I wouldnt eat meat going in, I tried my hardest. I knew I didnt have to eat meat, so I didnt. Basically, my reasoning was that I hadnt set myself up with a system to regulate my eating habits and I didnt want to ruin my integrity before I set the plan. Too much thinking? Very possibly. I was STARING at the meat under the glass. My mouth was salivating (it still is), I almost fainted. The guy serving the food saw me and questioned me 2x if I wanted anything else. He could see my mind going crazy. I held my head down and said no. $5.
I really don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to limit myself experiencing greatness, yet I like the restrictions that I imposed on my consumption.
I had a talk with a modified vegetarian about it all and in order to get where I want to be, I just need some more time to think it through. My friend said that after eating a fish stick, he thought about all the animals that die to make these foods which are basically meaningless (These are not his exact words or even meaning, but this is what I got out of it). This developed my thinking even further about how good I was feeling and the variety of food I have had in the past week. My thoughts are: why should I settle for eating crap? and if I having basic meals, I should advance myself still by having things that will help my health. If I am settling, why settle with meat that will only make me more binded? I should only eat meat when it is the best. When I can have duck or an amazing steak or other great preparations.
I toyed with eating meat only on the weekends or some sort of daily system. I think the best solution may be to limit myself to a number of meat meals for a week. 5 times a week sounds good. This will allow me to be flexible and still restrict me overall. This will allow me to savor those meat meals and only have the best when I do. This makes me not settle on sub-par meat. Is this like weight watchers? Fish possibly shouldnt count.
This system is still on the drawing board. I feel conflicted though until I have everything set. No conclusions yet. I am still on the curve.